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Focus Encore: Why give gifts?

We spend a lot of time thinking about and planning for gifts we give around the holidays. Why?

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(Duration: 51:41)

holiday gifts

Holiday gifts Wikimedia Commons

There’s a lot of forethought, and sometimes a lot of stress, that’s a part of the holiday season. That’s completely counter-intuitive considering the holidays are supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy time with family and friends. During this encore hour on Focus, we talked about why certain expectations are attached to the holidays and what we can do about it.

For the first half of the hour, host Jim Meadows talks with University of Illinois Professor Harry Liebersohn, about the reasons we give gifts. He does research in Europe and says even though the act of giving a gift implies the same thing everywhere, traditions surrounding gift giving vary widely from culture to culture. He’ll also tell us about how the definition of what a gift is has evolved over time. Then, on the second half of this hour on Focus, Susan Salterburg of the University of Northern Iowa joins the show. She’s a part of an outreach program called “Reclaim Your Holidays,” that’s trying to spread the message that simplifying the holidays and giving fewer gifts is not only 100% acceptable but also more environmentally friendly.

Categories: Community, Consumer issues

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    00:00:00

    holidays in for relaxing shopping for gifts can be anything but how did
    how did gift giving become such a big part of it all meadows of Dan
    dan focus will talk with gift giving you a story in every Lieberson University
    versity of Illinois professor who studied Christmas gift giving traditions different countries

    00:00:30

    motives reasons that the one with the Susan Salter
    Walterboro are used for claiming holiday concentrating on what you really mean it
    giving other stuff in becoming more environmentally
    mentally friends process holiday gift-giving today on focus

    program continues after the news
    welcome to focus on Jim meadows in right now a lot of us maybe most of us

    00:01:05

    are spending time isn’t buying gifts for other people and perhaps wondering what to get for a
    for us it may not even feel like a choice but like something everybody just does
    does for Christmas and there are other times and gift giving is customary
    Darcy Miley mandatory like birthdays wedding anniversaries etc but why
    why what’s the meaning of it all well later on during Focus I will talk to someone
    what ideas about regaining control of a holiday gift-giving rush my first
    my first gasket right now can tell us why we give gifts in the first place

    00:01:40

    everybody person actually wrote the book and gift giving its called the return of the gift European
    European history of a global idea that looks like gift giving customs in Europe a reason
    history professor here at the University of Illinois welcome to focus thank you Jim
    Jim it’s a pleasure to be here now you understand a gift giving done on one
    11 zone for personal reasons but why do we give gifts in
    in connection with certifications like Christmas birthday anniversary whatever
    will an e very basic level gifts are our way

    00:02:15

    way of recognizing other Zumanity gifts are way off
    recognizing what is special about the other person in orange
    are you interested in doing that is heightened at these Holiday Inn
    moments but maybe it was the first to just step back for us
    for a second and think about what we mean by a gift
    um do was it a great French sociologist anthropologist MN
    man named Mr somos who said give giving is really 3

    00:02:50

    threefold theory is a social obligation to give
    little so to accept a gift into
    reciprocate and understand what we mean by a gift really have to wash
    how to widen are understanding to encompass all 3 the sickness
    Anna’s back its important to keep in mind use the gifts are not just
    material things we do for each other many kinds of
    of gifts Frehley generously everytime we say

    00:03:25

    thank you everytime we give our time for something special
    we are involved in this network of gift giving back and forth
    what sounds like gift-giving when we talk about the gift
    um the gift is Justin object in less is involved
    the process of gift giving someone is giving it to someone is getting it will the traitor mean it
    depends on the social meaning and what we make of it so
    give you a little example of what we mean by this

    00:04:00

    imagine a group of a dozen guys they work together in
    and all once a month to go out for a drink and when they go
    one person buys for everybody else so there’s your gift will
    well where’s where’s the return well you can imagine weather return is the next month
    text month another person buys in round n round it goes
    no matching God number 12 the night he supposed
    post to beat a person with large s he says sorry guys

    00:04:35

    why is my favorite 1973 runners on can’t make a Welsh
    he has failed in the obligation to return and you could imagine
    when did this is does something to the way his buddies imagine
    legend Tim to his social standing in the group so that soon as the circuit
    the vault in the gift well we like to hear your thoughts about
    gift-giving what do you love about gift giving what works for you and I
    and I you can call it Collison tell us about it are toll free number is 1 800 222

    00:05:10

    29455 for 2800 222 w IL
    LLR email address is Will dash Tomcat Illinois .edu
    also welcome you questions on Facebook and Twitter the same
    same server breakfast sausage I’m going to get that were drawn
    the same Sutter feeling of a picture of mutual application I get around that way
    that comes into Christmas gift giving as well yes I think it does
    does on everybody wants to bring something to the ER

    00:05:45

    the holiday season and sometimes I think we’ve all been in the situation
    Asian of forgetting to bring a gift for on a major
    major holiday or a birthday party and then you feel terrible you feel sick
    if you floss face in some way and there is that element
    of obligations that most of us have experience
    I’m wondering I’m thinking back to being a kid at Christmas in one of the first
    first off locations of my young life and I guess I was really aware of is the eye

    00:06:20

    idea that um I’m supposed to buy my parents Christmas
    and of course I’m using money that they gave me I have no wealth of my own
    but it does start it it does start a better leader
    relationship the mutual gift giving is still there does he doesn’t want to
    one of the things that we do with our children very early on is to it
    educate them and turn them into good anthropologist educate a mini art of gift giving
    giving sew and sell a sense of Oz 7 year old have

    00:06:55

    Harry Reid Jim a scarf that he didn’t want and your parents say
    where is that thank you notes do you were supposed to write a and Sally
    when they do the day are being good sociologist with Marcel most
    Mohsen sang the gift threefold you have to return
    ok the threefold mean the Midland tell me about the threefold party
    yes yes because we give ten there’s the obligation to
    into accept Soha maginal guys with the drinks again

    00:07:30

    if there’s one person who says one night 110 accept your offer
    other drink that’s a pretty striking social status
    statement that you’ve made you are really distancing yourself from somebody
    when you do that so acceptance is also a part of the art of course WI
    we teach each other to accept gracefully ok and that and that comes to mind
    how to say your the father accepting all I don’t know the next time from
    front from your from your young son that’s right another part of that social

    00:08:05

    liquidation let’s take a cooler with something to say about gifts online for Jeff
    from Morris good morning urine Focus a good morning Merry Christmas first of America
    Merry Christmas Happy Holidays in Happy Hanukkah
    can say but I don’t have a lot of money off work so I’m basically
    I’m a clown woodworker Buy trade in the lot of
    I make love to give somebody but um I don’t ask
    ask anybody for anything I don’t need it I can take it to the grave salon

    00:08:40

    aborted Ward mature stuff and Im so what my dad told
    hold me tight how to solve it better to make something from you
    or like you’re saying a letter that it is from school at the store buying it in
    things to know the person you know the person well enough
    picture by step pictures of person for the that should not alone
    here she don’t want in
    what you say I try to make my own in gives much tickets

    00:09:15

    materialistic love you anymore just like its ic1 people giving
    living things weather its weather is in a 12
    baby getting back in the way of helping others that fit a food bank
    decor date halfway house for donating their time doing something I think that’s
    dubstep more to me than it does to a materialistic things
    things guys greatshield Thank You gif much for your call
    and I’m on Monday, during Harry on different ideas of what soda

    00:09:50

    set of gift to give does it come into the different cultural traditions
    missions at UIUC out there I know that you would you study to sippy what goes on in Europe
    Europe what to name what it what is a seeing as to what sort of item gift
    the gift should be I guess I first just want to affirm what are collard
    largesse how to say I think those are beautiful comments in really
    really good principles for everybody Oswego into the hollow
    the holiday season the gift that you’ve made a thinking about the other

    00:10:25

    the other person does this is a really really great comet far is stupid
    do Francisco um I think the almost not all
    all societies I have gift giving practices Naidu differ from place to place
    sometimes it’s always so often in Germany where I live spend a lot of
    lot of time is a German historian um diffuse be different if your
    if you’re invited to somebody’s house for dinner and you bring a bottle
    bottle of wine normally people will not use a bottle of wine

    00:11:00

    for the armed for the meal instead they regarded as a house
    household gift the whole point is there a have made dinner for you in
    in the will enjoy you return gift at home later date
    compare that with the Midwest which is famous for
    for the potluck where everybody bring something to the table
    whole different conception of what it means to give the idea that weird
    making the meal together and I think to behind those really very

    00:11:35

    different conceptions of what is the side use what household is the
    is that you can see the little example of the gift is something like the potluck
    specifically American Development Inc
    do you think it’s very distinctively American and I have to say is somebody who grew up
    who grew up in suburban Washington DC does the potluck was new for me
    when I came to the Midwest okay so me and a sonaze
    what is not just America branch regional regional I think so I think so

    00:12:10

    smoking in in the European tradition it’s more like your visit
    visiting with your its not like a lot of a lot of people gathering together
    weather like your visiting somebody else’s household budget does this end
    sense of the house the household is a shorter than close unity
    would you visiting is an outsider Ruther than the more you
    Unimin New certain way Palm much with is the kind of the the barriers in lower
    between inside and outside the household okay that sounds like it it sounds like that maybe

    00:12:45

    maybe a key difference between to gift giving traditions I wonder how they
    how that a I wonder how that plays out to specifically when it comes to something like
    Christmas yes will I think the of nas the Don
    will Chris Christmas is different in Germany because Christmas would be very much
    how much more restricted to families is a great sense of intimacy
    and again for the the lines are drawn more formally
    around the house hold in Germany where is the right thing to do more with

    00:13:20

    with visiting at Christmastime in souther might be you
    you might be a little bit of gift giving at work and and
    Ananda Hmong friends on but the focus is Billy on family and country
    yes yes I think everything closes down more radically around the fur
    the family in Germany we are talking about the tradition of gif
    gift-giving in the later on we’ll be talking about ways to baby take back control of
    role of that gift giving a tradition was Susan cell to break my guest right now is heavy

    00:13:55

    Harry Lee purse on it and he is a an expert on
    on our gift giving tradition CC author of the return of the gift European history of a
    Global idea or wondering about your gift giving a tradition
    give us a call about the man 1 800 222 9455 that’s 18
    1 800 222 and WILL deny you can email
    email Liza WY el dash talk at Illinois .edu happy wok
    The Walking Dead Facebook and Twitter at focus 58

    00:14:30

    zero the tradition of gift giving in family gift giving ideas
    I’m getting is relatively recent the last couple hundred years is far is crisp
    Christmas is concerta side do I have the right things said on
    are think that’s true but at the same time we have to remember that people have
    ollies giving gifts within the the family see if you think about we
    wheels and inheritance is a very big cat
    category of all of gift giving end of people have voice

    00:15:05

    boys giving lot of 42 what will I give my children and Howell iDevice
    divide my things up among my children intercourses lottery
    lot of potential for for pleasure there a and remembrance of Allah
    are of one’s parents and also there’s a lot of potential for quarreling
    what about the dividing up of the gifts does are so Tovar when you’re talking about Wilson
    bills in heritance you’re talking about son of a once in a lifetime saying once in someone’s lifetime
    what time anyway Dutch that’s right at the same time for sometimes people give a little bit

    00:15:40

    little bit early um it and odds maybe Your Mother
    mother has an heirloom necklace from her mother and she decides to give it
    give it to her daughter when your daughter gets married what kind of things so so there’s a lot of immunity
    the way to integrate orange is lot of discretion that can go into this kind of
    of momentous gift giving and when someone gives that moment
    Momentis gift what are they saying will the day maybe
    beyond the maybe are there some kind of recognition its taking place

    00:16:15

    listen mansion for example did the mother gives the necklace
    list two for new daughter in law in this is way of saying you are
    you are part of this family so its weight of a way of assigning a search
    certain social status sewing buddy out so it’s not just a personal message
    message to the recipient of the gifted sounds like the gift giving is also meant to be
    meant to be seen by others that’s right that’s right there’s always a large sort of social
    perception that goes along with it and it at me be no. 1

    00:16:50

    no one of your three children gets the silver and as you
    you are as you do this you say well you know Mary is the responsible
    2012 really take care of that silver for a lifetime well that’s quite a statement about that
    the child if you make a public OK in the context of
    Christmas giving one thing that strikes me as soon as one
    channel of giving um which is the giving that comes under
    under the dome the DMV in time the entire little ritual of a chance

    00:17:25

    Santa Claus Santa Claus St Nicholas father Christmas do I don’t know what they have Germany
    I have a figure like that is it is not important the way it is in the United States
    it’s actually much more in American thing maybe it is strictly American Inn in
    America than it seems like a whole level of giving is a signed for as long
    as long as the child wolf continue to believe in it
    to the 2 to the channel challeng of Santa Claus live
    the SS if this is supernatural figures able to step into the gift giving

    00:18:00

    will maybe there is something really furry human important something magical
    magical behind because that heightens the magic of gift giving
    for the child in the idea that we feel with gift
    is something we don’t necessarily search for pictures of the Pops down from
    on high in the the really links to something very deep in all religions
    is tradition think of the gift of grace basic
    Christian idea we don’t deserve grace but it descends upon

    00:18:35

    upon a Senate maybe the units of the form of Santa Claus at something
    AAA certain function of the is it worth the Grace you know you’re making me
    making me thinking right now something off of church there’s a there’s there’s a moment at least of these
    the Episcopal Church of the diet end where are members of the congregation
    should bring up both the bread wine that will be used in communion also the money offer
    Stacy from the congregation presented to the priest at the altar
    altura and then the presets All Saints come off the gold Lord

    00:19:10

    and the congregation replies in of the Unknown have we given the
    seems to be touching on that idea of a of a
    of a gift of a gift of grace a gift that a gift from God the can’t really
    really be equal to buy I love you bye bye mortals giving back
    although they try does the Troy lighting to the often we feel if we been blessed
    blessed in our own life that we want to give back in some way and that goes all the way
    the way from the philanthropist Windows 8 a building um

    00:19:45

    to the smallest gift within a community that displays ideas
    do that we want to give back of course there again we have a recipe TDI do the weeping
    we been blessed and want to return in some way did you find that
    that that serve gift giving the soda philanthropic
    gift-giving work the same way in Germany is does here in America
    this is actually something the truther do friend I think you know I’ll Germany
    Germany in other European northern European countries do Sister

    00:20:20

    is a certain idea that you you give you sacrifice to the state you believe that the state
    state is good we do much more private and philanthropic
    giving in the United States much much more than Germans are other odd
    northern European stews does real contrast the traditions there is is that
    is that more fat goes through the state syndrome in dogs
    what does indicted mean I know also dead Odin Denmark
    people really identify with the state that think it’s good to take satisfaction

    00:20:55

    in the Social Work state to state does for the whole community in for a lot of America
    American 6 be released 180 degrees the other ways that they identify with
    with being against the state of being wanted to be wanted to be suspicious or Park from the state
    Detroit Detroit at the same time the me really believe in Father plantar PA
    herpes images creepy little bit of enjoy you know it’s true
    are you interested in a place like New York these big surf boards like the
    Dr Oz DVD Board of Trustees of the Metropolitan Museum of Art

    00:21:30

    parts for the Opera House on people give cow
    hundreds of thousands of dollars they give hundred thousand dollars
    the hope of being on the board of a of the nation like that
    like that and the matter with the politics is a believe in a big scale
    on this kind of private giving and push you can believe in both you can think of the state
    state does good and believe in planter psy is there less than private
    is there less private philanthropy in a country like Germany how much loves much less money

    00:22:05

    how much less is really hard I know I’ve spoken to people from educational and
    other institutions of told me that they going to potential donors the dollar sign up
    what should we be doing that touch the job of the state prison do im on one
    countries were the weather today s*** is that way do private charities
    Woody’s work with the government try to find something there D do they do in the Germans
    German specifically have very ingenious combinations of Prague
    private state giving for education and culture and country

    00:22:40

    truly its shifting now in Germany everybody’s trying to develop
    private funding as well as state fund a device Steelers
    is our is very distinctly that that still leaves person
    personal gift giving is being something apart from my guess the idea of gift
    gift giving for the community and in America that may be more than idea of
    Publix gift giving that is gift giving for the public good that’s done on one’s own
    yes yes yes and you know it so interesting look at it because it’s clear

    00:23:15

    tear that are the people of great well to do this partly because
    because they want to be loved they want to have high status within a community
    Indy compete with one another for that status like who gets to be on
    on the board of the Metropolitan Opera in is a kind of healthy
    competition since in the end of the public are certainly winners from
    from this kind of philanthropy this makes me think I’m wondering how a storyline
    free likes a Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol place in a culture like

    00:23:50

    Germany where so much of the story is about Ebenezer
    Scrooge learning to get to give gifts in some of them are personal family
    family give some of it is about Ebenezer Scrooge being reunited with a relative sees penis
    estranged from but some of that is also about giving that’s a wrap
    raps in some countries with the really get into the State decides to give the gift
    private charities that he refused to give at the beginning of the tail and he decides to
    lights to go out you know give gifts to of the family office employee the Cratchits

    00:24:25

    that again the bed that he would never thought of at the beginning of the story
    take a story like that to Germany and how does it play who will I think that use
    use a healthy reminder that you’ve given can take many
    Omni many different forms and certainly um
    Germans idea of community one of the forms that it takes is
    is collective self sacrifice did if there is a crisis the wheel
    we all have to pull on together and a treadmill German

    00:25:00

    Norman public virtue that is very admirable even if it doesn’t take this
    take the same form of private philanthropic giving said that we know Indiana
    the United States oh I think we want to also be sort of Tolerance
    porn of different patterns of giving that take place in differences
    Society for Hampton Marley’s ghost in the German version of A Christmas Carol with c** for in time
    tire town rather than a visual business man that sounds Plaza
    Plaza bowl it does indeed when we come we come to the other the rituals

    00:25:35

    jewel in the expectations of gift giving one of the things were here about
    about one of the central talking about will be talking about this hour is how this can chase with people how they feel
    the feel that there they’re doing things the expected to give but they’re not giving
    do not getting the set of personal reward out of it that’s too much of its for show
    show too much of it is just an empty ritual is that do those
    zoso to hook up problems are misgivings come up in other cultures as well
    is well do you do they do and I think of you know the element of coop

    00:26:10

    compulsion can be so strong in gift-giving how much
    what you’re expected to give and so forth did it takes a lot of work to reclaimed
    lame gift giving as an art not think this has been true in all times and places
    let me tell you about a famous example of Dead Sea
    the anthropologist talk about nuts was called the hula rings
    from a set of islands in the Caribbean islands off of New Guinea
    end of the coolest shows were valuable shells heirlooms

    00:26:45

    the to do you say to somebody else that went from pool and seizure
    Cecil like sea shells or polish for the main thing is the other important
    important people had already owns of the wind from powerful person to powerful purse
    person in one of the things about the shells was you weren’t supposed
    supposed to hold them they were like heirlooms but we usually give heirlooms down
    down through time Big Easy shows a cross through societies
    who was Wizard of a struggle you are proud of your shell she wanted to hold on

    00:27:20

    hold on to them but you’ve got to give you can just Ward do you have to
    om give the child to somebody else armed and so you know
    you know they’re always steez teez very serious struggles about gift giving
    doing it the right way we claiming at for ourselves in your study of gif
    gift giving in German culture did you find a debate feeling on may be a minority
    where the opinion no matter what everybody is doing some people saying no we should
    should do it this way it’s not really valuable B should do with this other way I think too big

    00:27:55

    Truman sing in history no going back to the 90
    19th century was the idea of the gift giving should always be selfless
    you don’t expect reciprocity you don’t expect a return
    end of Moose people thought that when the 19 century in this is where
    Marcel most really bold people over when he says I actually stand back
    little bit when you see that you’re always part of this network of giving and
    and receiving eyemart I want I want I want to take this a little bit

    00:28:30

    better dig two of a tension Marsha most also how you spell his name
    look up I know that I can go to Wikipedia you find some stuff about a man know if no one else
    you will use a great guy MA USFS is the
    is the last name he was a marvelous man and all you belong to Luke community
    city of scholars the gave a lot that sacrifice a lot to each other during the first
    First World War and after the war he did a lot to preserve the memory of
    the of other fallen colic so he was a great gift giver

    00:29:05

    um with time to say one word China
    and gift giving I want to still think about China and the pandas
    um because a Chinese are great gift givers and water
    the great forms of gift giving is giving pandas to zoos around the world
    world of course they gave a two pandas Ling Ling Ling lings partners
    where to the National Zoo in Washington in 1972
    what they continue to give pandas to other zoos right up to

    00:29:40

    to the present day day loan not because there so few pandas left but they are
    this is this is a great influence of gift giving in the president world
    interesting interesting one thing cover think of all the cute videos that you can find
    you can find online about that does its surrounding the web cam up for the night
    the National Zoo in Washington job.com the pandas we’ve been talking
    talking with history professor hairy hairy Lieberson he’s an expert on gift giving
    author of the book The Return of the gift yes it is a pawn Anderson video player

    00:30:15

    a play on words European history of a global ideas published by Cambridge University Press
    fast and hard back and Kindle editions is no doubt a great gift ideas
    Eyedea and it’s time for short break thank you very much for being on focus with us
    what does and I will be back in a moment with more in a different Akon gift giving
    giving without shoes in Salzburg Amedisys focus on wyll
    we are back on focus on WILL
    Jim meadows in we’ve been talking about a gift giving the pressure

    00:30:50

    usher to give gifts in some help get it right can be relentless it this time of year
    beer brats you taking steps in your family to output some controls on
    on the Christmas rush my channeling how you do gift-giving I would like to hear your
    hear your ideas on bus lines this half hour our guest Suzanne saltbreak has a fever for Owen
    Roane she is with the Center for energy and environmental education at the University of
    city of Northern Iowa Cedar Falls Susan welcome to focus
    biting me now you prove to your ideas under the title

    00:31:25

    reclaim your holidays what does that mean and how do the holidays me Drake
    reclaiming well it’s about being intentional about
    holidays on what matters most to you and I
    some people don’t need to be claimed the holidays Avery crazy Dave’s
    what to do um but other people
    um commercial commercial is the earliest Halloween
    Halloween and um it is easy

    00:32:00

    easy updos for most of us to start selling yourself stories about how much we have to
    given material get the people to show people that we love them
    um and that is what love but its not
    it’s not the only way now I understand is Miley Cyrus side effect that that that you can
    did you get out of this you are with the Center for energy and environmental education
    and that by making upper halves gift giving a little more emotionally sustaining you can be
    can be environmentally sustainable as well

    00:32:35

    right on the research shows us that things that matter most to ask
    are relationships leisure time with um
    activities that we like and my heart to for those things
    things are true and so when we
    consume a lot of material goods that generate wasting all forms
    and if it doesn’t make us happy we do need to start questions
    that would be to our benefits? You said that yourself in bother your heart

    00:33:10

    your heart confirms that these things are true that you have a personal experience in a moment
    mid of the of your own that that that let you to think about the holidays
    this way I’m lucky that I grew up in a family vet
    vet I guess we didn’t have very much money is so we just simple thing
    things and then go bust of my generation 53 had
    much more simple holidays and we have now so um myaha Mormon
    almonds was really more my work in the environmental field and house

    00:33:45

    how often do people in the environmental field
    telling people what not to do and this is about telling people what what
    what to do and what is a how to have a richer for life
    life and insulting things that match
    what matters most to us now I understand in going over the sub do you look at
    you look at that that studies in urban studies about this about what really makes us happy
    and you know the context of of Christmas in the holidays gift giving

    00:34:20

    giving what what can you what can you say in in general senses what
    what really does make us happy are there alot of studies out there in 5
    halftime I’m halfway through the never articles on social sciences
    related to that but um the things that make us happy
    if our faith comes up there as something that helps us because tense
    1000 and relationships genetic
    um butts

    00:34:55

    it’s interesting that happiness in America pizza in the 19 fifties and that
    that’s really after World War 2 when we really started feeling a lot
    more am wondering if there’s a tie there ok
    well we like to hear from of from you all you folks listening about
    what about the holidays makes you happy what traditions or practices
    gift-giving in the holidays of satisfied you earlier this program a herd of
    from a are Carlisa Jeff Morris who are the works with wood inlay

    00:35:30

    can lights to make his own Christmas gifts if you have any particular practices are Kurdish
    traditions what’s new about our phone number is 1 800 2229
    9455 email addresses will a dash talk at Illinois
    illinois.edu work on Twitter and Facebook focus 580
    and the phone number again 1 800 222 w IL
    ll Susan Salzburg when it comes to win it when it comes to gifts
    skips don’t necessarily have to be off things are objects

    00:36:05

    no they don’t have to be in fact one of the abyss research
    search the wife of interesting is that when I money is invested in experiences
    people remember that lager so giving a gift that’s not a
    not a product like maybe getting a gift for the theater or getting your family
    family together to go to a tablet or a couple made goes to a bed and breakfast
    remember that longer than the Furious any idea why that is the king
    the case because I was so you can have an object the object to be around forever 21

    00:36:40

    why doesn’t resonate the same way as as the memory of something that you did
    I’d love to turn my question back to you
    can you think about um
    weather that regulates with you um what attributes you received
    past few years um and what experiences have you had
    which which what’s the surfaces I’m your items
    thinking of a lot of objects in a set of passed along the way um actually the

    00:37:15

    the other thing that’s most memorable about Christmas was really the moment of
    love me another me and other members of my family sitting around and and
    and opening the presence together being together Olivia the trees always
    always there always remember that is a large part of it but but but all the
    what all the object to become a bit of a blurry after a while
    is is mi mi getting the MM I get into something to part of your own
    pointy recetas is is that that the surfing UCS farce what people finder

    00:37:50

    rewarding about the holidays well I think we will
    talk later about those gift and how fun it is to have that I’m rapping
    wrapping ceremony at all anticipation get to that but um
    think about the holidays for me and my personal experience
    things I remember our ending them at peoples houses
    and we’re going to a family has a tradition of going to the park
    parks in Iowa um where 20 what can be together maybe a couple of

    00:38:25

    cabins have enough space have neutral territory and then go hiking
    um play games together some large group games
    um we fall so gone to Colorado and then sweating skiing
    I’m the kind of things and material gifts
    I just can’t remember very messy all though I can remember q material get that I’ve got no
    got nobody years that I really value b*** out of all those
    Lowes get that we get there material I would challenger listeners

    00:39:00

    sinners to the Telus which one thing remembered as it seems like there’s not very many
    remember now in in your case with these the way the traditions
    missions already working your family are did did you make some intentional change
    changes in order to 20 to reclaim the holiday
    um I guess some of both
    Farm and so I didn’t have to use my own
    I want my nieces and nephews were born and they all were living is

    00:39:35

    cities in larger cities I really wanted them to have a knex
    connection to the out of doors and so getting them getting Us
    f2 a state park and experiencing a cabin and hiking those kind of
    kind of things what was part of my family
    family growing up but also something deliberate about wanting to pass it on to the next generation
    generation unemployment of the past the pass on the past
    pass on the tradition of these activities on the value of

    00:40:10

    um in nature and water to give to us
    and I’m sorry go ahead
    what’s the app that made sense yes I said I think so I’m
    I’m wondering as as you’ve been talking about these things to do to others what
    what’s the responses you’ve gotten and I may be a specially for a for the people
    people and families were perhaps the big thing about the presence can be
    B&O to especially if your kid for Absecon be a certified addiction that

    00:40:45

    you don’t want to see go away oh yeah and I
    and I want to say again I don’t have kids so that’s a huge disclaimer because that is
    is a challenge this is not a prescriptive program
    Graham and everybody have to do it
    throne way maybe it’s just finding one do things to change to
    really do what you want to have happened during the holidays but I remember the Kid
    the kid anticipation was huge relief on 280

    00:41:20

    does president under the tree and a half the stalking in the hole ritual a Santa Claus
    os um so I’m wrapping gifts
    this is just fart um but teaching values also
    important and so balancing those things I think is
    um something that many of us would like to do better
    better um I know we can’t immunize kids from advertise
    Heisman but we can talk to them about choices

    00:41:55

    friend of mine a colleague of Mind years ago remember she
    Hershey would say that hurts you would drive down the road and her mom
    why can’t we have a car like that and she would say we can what the trade off
    trade off is that I won’t have as much time to spend with you because I would have to be at a job that requires a lot
    adalat more of my time and so even talking
    talking to kids in helping them understand what the trade-offs are um
    how to have a thousand the presents under the Christmas tree

    00:42:30

    um vs a simpler Christmas they may oft
    depending upon their age take me out for more time in detention
    I’m wondering Hilson other parts of the eye
    off off off Christmas traditions just the decorating others I can’t think of a morder
    more decorated holiday outside to say maybe a wedding
    then than Christmas and the is this is a large drive to do
    do that that’s also that’s just a lot a lot of another way or another set of stuff

    00:43:05

    f*** a whole bunch of paper are what are are plastic for that matter that
    the guy that goes out in a room in around the house in as I can see in the yard lighting
    lighting up as well do you see an alternative when it comes to the
    that’s a fridge to decorate
    what’s a the people have the real early to decorate a enjoy it
    and then not burning their family with expectations to help them with everything
    family doesn’t want to help um um them decorate

    00:43:40

    great have fun with it um but I know
    the terror RI lots of alternative and wanted
    things I did recently was I thought this cool
    Christmas tree build off Fox
    apparently libraries around the nation have have built these large
    trees that are that have lights on them what its made for
    Church Christmas tree out of books have lights on

    00:44:15

    really charming and so that certainly agree alternative
    2 coming out of Christmas tree but I’d said if you really want to cut down a Christmas tree
    cut down Christmas tree get a local 1
    struck by the idea of a Christmas tree made a book this is like these books piled up
    assert shape without works yes sir piled up in triangles and I googled
    Gold I saw the picture on facebook of this the coolest thing
    Google how do you build a book to a Christmas tree out of books

    00:44:50

    and there were several different types of the retina and it took me not very
    very long at all to do it so the books are reusable afterwards notebooks
    boxer Harbor MI hardens and soft cover books around the house
    my house I probably use about 50 in this particular um
    small modest tree probably a foot and a half tall I dread the time
    that somebody use a hundred bucks in their house that had about 100 books in the whole house
    the used all of them and made a 3 foot tree so I can I

    00:45:25

    can I give you a quick I was just looking online issue spoke one place you can try Google
    Google enforce a website called the Mary Sue which describes itself as a guide to girls
    girls keek culture and it has photos of different Christmas trees
    grease made out of books with least one of them is a little tough
    tough on the books but the other ones of other ones are not in there are very
    very many different ways that you can file books together to make a Christmas tree and yes but lights on
    lights on them we are a talking about a way to reclaim the holidays with us

    00:46:00

    without shoes in Salzburg if you have some ideas about your own Christmas traditions
    still time for us to give us a call at 1 800 22 29455
    561 800 222 WILL are email address
    is a will dash talk at Illinois dot
    edu II am really stressed about that that’s a survey
    anon destructivo of way of decorating in the holidays are there any other uh you know
    did Decker Decker decorating ideas to come to mine

    00:46:35

    how we have a list of them that’s not my area decorators
    later so I have other people that I work with some stuff with that what we do on
    do on the holidays Oregon website have ideas for
    work holidays using natural materials
    it is one of the fundamental idea
    idea cranberries for example can be put in a salad
    cranberries also um the that use a lot of

    00:47:10

    have chemicals to grow a lot of how many of the cranberry so um
    there are lots of things to think about but that would be a natural products
    product that you could put in your compost post
    when it comes to wrapping the presence imajin there’s a will there’s a lot of paper that goes in there
    there is there are other alternatives to tell all that dont the price
    paper which sometimes I find people are most of the reluctant
    throat the throw out to look at a little more yeah well

    00:47:45

    um just looking at something we we have apps
    little hand out on the holiday site called I want to share their innovative ideas
    I guess I’m sure there lots of Illinois
    we have a Facebook page for people to go to college
    and click on that give us there ideas 10 people
    people that I talk to about sewing cloth gift bags
    for all of their gifts and she said she started

    00:48:20

    start sewing gift bag that could be used every year instead of wrapping paper 25 powerful Fabrikant
    Mercon sale at the end of the holiday season and then so if you more bag for her cllection
    every year and put the dross drink at the top of the couples
    or colorful rubber cord and they look beautiful on the tree
    um now she didn’t say her younger son Disney quest
    Best Buy rap 1 just for him eat your wrapping paper because you loved the south and feel
    will a ripping open the paper search sounds like it so its a little bit

    00:48:55

    little bit of not necessarily doing away with something but maybe maybe modify
    define R Rd are down sizing a little bit to bore reasonable proportions
    really focusing on what you want what
    what what is fun and meaningful for you and oak
    I think things that I was thinking about before the interview
    review was that we have handout online
    that ask people to Assessor holiday season um and just take five

    00:49:30

    5 minutes think about last holiday season and then rank the meaning of
    eating places I got from various activities and then do they want to do more lessons
    Topix coming here so that’s a one way of being more intentional and that’s called the
    call the five minute assessment and that’s really looking back and not what you think you’re supposed
    supposed to do but what you really truly found rewarding right
    when Im afraid were just about out of time here we’ve been talking with Susan Salter burger
    the University of Northern Iowa reclaiming the holidays what you can find out

    00:50:05

    find out more about how to reclaim in the holidays torginol soda
    reclaiming your holidays is the correct reclaim reclaim
    get this right or I was just send people to strain reclaim your home
    holidays.org and also look up reclaim your holidays on
    Facebook will have links on our website at will.illinois.edu/
    slash focus Susan Salzberg Happy Holidays NSYNC
    thanks for being on focus today thanks so much Gym Tulsa

    00:50:40

    salsa professor really persona the University of Illinois for talking about gift giving customs
    during the first half of R programming thanks everyone who called her email
    questions during the program today we invite you to continue the discussion on today
    today’s program at our website at will.illinois.edu
    edu slash focus and we are likely the first result on your search engine
    if you just type in WILL focus today show was produced by Lindsey moon
    the moon Jason crofters are technical director tomorrow on focus you may not like everything

    00:51:15

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