Episode 85: Visiting with Jennifer Johnson of Indianapolis and her story, “Make Your Own Kind of Music”

                                    SSPP ep. 85 JENNIFER JOHNSON

This week's guest, Jennifer Johnson, comes to us from the inaugural That's What She Said Indianapolis cast! Hosts Jenette and Kerry explore with Jennifer how a music class helped her find her voice and confidence to stand up despite school bullies, ultimately revealing music as her superpower.




ANNOUNCER  00:00  Raising women's voices one story at a time. Welcome to The She Said Project Podcast.
 [Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]

###
JENETTE JURCZYK  00:28  So That's What She Said started in Champaign, Illinois in 2013. Kerry Rossow, one of the original founders of The She Said Project, That's What She Said; I always love seeing you in the podcast studio. Welcome. Hi!
 
KERRY ROSSOW  00:40 Hi Jenette! I love seeing you. I feel like you're just a flash, you're doing all the things. And so when I can get in the studio with you, when we both can sit here for an extended amount of time, it is just a total treat.
 
JENETTE  00:53 I love when we decided to create this space, this platform, because we knew that there was so much more to the stories that we were seeing on the stage. And we wanted a place to connect with these women and hear some of the impact from their stories and some of the stories behind the stories. But also, I had hopes that the podcast would be the glue, because now that we're expanding into more markets, I very much hope that we would get to invite women from different shows, from different cities to chat with us... to yak it up.
 
KERRY  01:24 No! it's yuck it up! (Jenette laughing) You make it sound like you're vomiting. You're not yakking. You're yucking it up. Jenette.
 
JENETTE  01:24  We get to invite these women to yuk it up with us here as we're recording our fun little podcast. And we hope we hope that there's people out there who are listening
 
KERRY  01:40  Not yakking.
 
JENETTE  01:40  and checking in and not yakking or yukking just listening because the women we get to talk to are just stinking outstanding.
 
KERRY  01:49  And the great thing is after the shows a month will go by six months a year, whatever, and I think 'ah man, I loved so and so I wonder what's going on with them now'. And I get that from people all the time. Hey, whatever happened to 'what's going on with' it was just like, well, this is the perfect way to follow up for my nosy self and for everybody who got to fall in love with them on the stage.
 
JENETTE  02:09  Did you ever think That's What She Said would happen in other communities or I dare say other states than Illinois?
 
KERRY  02:16  No, we thought it was going to be a one night -- I always want to say one night stand and it sounds so inappropriate mom, I would never say I would never have a one night stand. I always thought it would just be a one night show. And here we are in different states. And some of the states have been really special because I'm, I'm an Indiana girl. And so boy that that Indianapolis show was really special to me. But every single time I see it in a different city, and I see that yellow stand that is in every single show, I get goosebumps, it never gets old.
 
JENETTE  02:44  It never gets old. And it's so much fun to rain, the yellow music stand to a new stage in a new town in a new state. Like you said, we had a show in Indianapolis not too long ago produced by our friend Katie Vigil, who used to live in Champaign Urbana, and we're seeing that more and more women who used to live in this community who are familiar with That's What She Said, who move on for a variety of reasons. And they find an opportunity to go wait a second, we can do this here and so she chose to bring it to Indianapolis, I brought the yellow music stands. We were at the Center for the Performing Arts in Carmel in September of 2023. And we had some amazing women on that stage. And being an Indiana girl you got to come out and see and support. And we've got one of those amazing women with us today in the podcast studio. I'd like to introduce our listeners to Jennifer Johnson. Hello, Jennifer.
 
JENNIFER JOHNSON  03:35
Hello, ladies.
 
JENETTE  03:36  Welcome back. It's... Oh, I just got chills when I heard your voice because you have such a distinct voice.
 
JENNIFER  03:43  Thank you.
 
JENETTE  03:43  Do you get that a lot?
 
JENNIFER  03:44  I get it when they know that I do music. They usually say I have something that's distinct. I don't know. But that's really very flattering. Thank you.
 
KERRY  03:52  Oh my gosh. Okay, so I need the lowdown, who asked you and how and were you an immediate yes to be in the show. What's the story?
 
JENNIFER  04:00  It's funny that you asked I don't think I really thought about it. I just thought why not? Sounds great.
 
JENETTE  04:06  I think you were one of the first speakers who were confirmed when that show was being built. I also remember that we had a zoom call where Katie introduced us and you got to meet me and Kevin and we talked about what That's What She Said was when you're building in a new community from the ground up, there is a lot of just educating people on what this is, what it could be and why we're doing it. And so yes, we definitely had that call because you are well connected and you believe in the power of uplifting people on their journeys. And so it was a perfect fit. Everyone has a story. We always say that. But Jennifer, we definitely found some layers to your story, don't you think?
 
JENNIFER  04:41  Oh for sure. For sure. Quite a few layers and I had no idea how much I needed to peel them back a little bit. It was quite a journey. It was very exciting. And like I said scary. And I remember just being kind of like, Which story do I tell and I had like two or three of them and I knew once we met for the first time I knew which story I wanted to share and you helped immensely getting that going, you know.
 
KERRY  05:09  I think we need to stop hogging the info. Let's go to the story. Let's go to the clip. That's how old I am. I just aged myself. Let's roll the tape.
 
JENETTE  05:17  Let's roll the tape. So Jennifer, we're gonna listen to that story from that night and then we'll unpack some of those layers with our audience. I want everyone to enjoy Jennifer Johnson because she was in the inaugural cast of That's What She Said Indianapolis from September 2023. Please enjoy her story, "Make Your Own Kind of Music." 

###
(recorded September 8, 2023 at The Tarkington Theatre, Carmel, Indiana)
JENNIFER JOHNSON  05:36 I was a blond haired blue eyed child. (Audience whoop) Okay, this is gonna be fun. The oldest of four in a small town in Ohio. Life was pretty good. Until the end of first grade. When something strange happened. I hit a growth spurt. I quickly grew a number of inches which made me one of the tallest kids in my class, my eyesight changed, which required me to wear glasses, and my hair became crazy curly and totally unmanageable. My good intentioned parents helped me pick out a pair of eyeglasses with bright blue frames that according to the eye doctor anyway, were what all the cool kids were wearing.
 
 06:31  My grandmother whose hair was fine and permed weekly assured me that every girl dreamed of having hair like mine and clearly I must be the envy of all my female classmates. Well, I knew grandma would never lie to me. So I held my head high, and felt confident that my popularity was about to skyrocket.
 
06:58  Well, we all know how cruel children can be to each other. And it didn't take long for most of the kids at school to start making fun of the giant girl with blue glasses, and totally crazy hair. Even some of my closest friends joined in. I was promptly nicknamed Mrs. Beasley. Remember her? Yes, she was a regular on the American sitcom Family Affair. She was Buffy's doll that never said a word but everyone knew who she was. I realize now that there were many other nicknames they could have called me that would have been so much worse, but I didn't care. From second grade through the end of my junior year in high school, very few of my classmates knew me by any other name than Mrs. Beasley. It was horrible.
 
07:55  With that nickname came years, years filled with many incidents that my memory has chosen to blur the specific details of because they were so painful. However, even though I graduated more than 40 years ago, (I can't believe that) the pain felt during those years is still as real and as fresh as if it happened yesterday.
 
08:22  One such incident was the time when two of the meanest girls in my class decided to call me at home. They just wanted to make sure I knew how worthless I was. Toward the end of the very upsetting phone call. My mother had enough and she grabbed the telephone receiver from me and started yelling at my attackers through the receiver. My mother still recalls that she told the girls that it was illegal for anyone to call someone at home to harass them. She had convinced them that they were going to jail. Thanks, Mom. A big high five for my mom. Yes.
 
09:08  Fortunately, the phone calls stopped but the harassment at school just got worse. I still have no idea if calls like that are illegal but if they aren't, they should be.
 
09:23  Then there was the time that one of the meanest boys in my class decided he was going to make my day particularly awful. And it just so happened that his mother was a substitute lunchroom lady that same day. As I walked into the lunch room, I was absolutely devastated when he and his mother were standing together, laughing and pointing at me. All I heard was laughter and Mrs. Beasley chanted over and over again. As I looked around the room it literally seemed as if everyone else had joined in the chat. Something broke inside me that day. And my trust of adults was never the same after that.
 
10:12  Things got so bad that I spent most of my time trying to avoid eye contact, and any other interactions with the majority of my classmates. I did everything I could to stay out of their way and out of the spotlight, I kept to myself and spoke only when spoken to. My self esteem was about as low as it could be. I was lonely, and I longed to be invisible, yet my heart ached to belong to their world and come out of the shadows.
 
10:47  Well, everything changed one fateful day. While I was sitting in my fourth grade music class, my teacher, Mrs. Womack, who was a short, round woman with bottle rimmed glasses, and energy that was always on high, asked me to sing a couple lines of a song. I literally froze for a moment. And then there was this little voice inside me that asked, 'What have you got to lose?' Well, I didn't have much.
 
11:19  So I opened my mouth, and closed my eyes and what came out I had never heard before. It was my voice. (audience cheering) Thank you, there was a feeling of freedom and power that I had never felt before, and I was smitten. Looking back, I often wonder if Mrs. Womack knew how much I needed a friend like that. Was that why she made the introduction? Had she been in my shoes at some point, and since the kindred soul? She was odd in her own way, so I believe deep down she understood. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to ask her even though we did stay in touch for many years after that.
 
12:13  Over the next few years, my relationship with music grew. We became best friends when I had very few of them. It didn't care if I towered over everyone, wore bright blue glasses and had crazy curly hair. Music taught me a new way to connect with the others that had nothing to do with the outward appearance. It had to do with connecting to emotions and the inner self. I found music spoke the language that knows no boundaries or age limits. Through music, I learned how to communicate with others on a much deeper level than I'd ever known before. The more positive responses I got from my listeners, the more I wanted to sing, I truly could not get enough. I was hooked. Call it a drug if you will, but nothing had ever made me feel the way music did. I felt truly alive. When I sang, I knew that anything was possible, and it truly became my superpower. (audience cheering)
 
13:30  Musical theater called my name and opened its arms wide. I jumped in the beautiful songs of Rogers and Hammerstein and numerous others, many Oklahoma's and Sounds of Music later, I could not imagine having more fun or feeling happier. I started singing for churches and special interest groups, primarily older adult groups. Turns out my favorite music was their favorite music and they paid me for it. Never mind that I was a quarter of most of their ages. That was years ago. Okay. They didn't care. My music spoke to them. They literally lined up after my programs to share the memories that my songs brought back to them.
 
14:27  I collected a treasure chest of beautiful stories to share with my other audiences. I learned about the songs from the people who had lived through them. And it wasn't long before I started calling my shows musical walks down memory lane. They weren't all my memories. Mrs. Beasley was not gone. She was still part of my life. But with music by my side. I was getting chosen for choir solos and leading the musical female roles, Mrs. Beasley was now cool and many of my classmates wanted to be my friends. But I didn't need them anymore. That sounds really nasty. (cheering)
 
15:13  Thank you. Music had introduced me to all of its friends, and I was busy getting to know them. Finally, I belonged to something. I was making my own kind of music and loving every second of it. Let me tell you, time truly flies when you're having fun because the next few years were gone before I knew it. I graduated from high school and college, met the most wonderful man in the world whose birthday's today and he's in the audience, and I love him very much. Whatever. We got married. It's his birthday, I have to acknowledge his birthday, we got married, and had three children fairly quick. We did it with a set of twins and a single son. And it was really wonderful. My husband understood my love affair with music from day one, and he has supported me without reservation ever since.
 
16:15  So fast forward to today, I sing almost every day, I get paid well for it. I have woven music into every corner of my life. I was even known for a short time as the singing insurance agent. I'll be happy to share that story some other time or after the show if you're interested. Music has taught me so many lessons. Above all, I've learned that we're all unique with our own special gifts and personal struggles. We all have so much going on that you can't see just by simply looking at us. It's when we take the time to get to know each other that we can truly understand and authentically communicate. And there are many ways to communicate. Music has been my mode of communication for years. Thank you, Mrs. Womack.
 
17:16  Music has blessed me more times than I can I can count: winning the Toledo Easter Seals talent showcase which included recording my first demo tape, being chosen as a finalist in Ed McMahon's Next Big Star, Basically, the internet... Thank you. The internet version of Star Search, and being part of a band that opened for the Moody Blues. And those are just some of the stories. Thank you. Someday I am going to write a book all about my musical adventures. Again Thank you Mrs. Womack.
 
17:53  Life has not been perfect. It has had its ups and downs for sure. But through it all music has remained my superpower. When the world seems to be against me. I know music is always there. And it has never let me down. So I challenge you: what is your superpower? And how do you intend to make your own kind of music?
(applause)

 ###
 
JENETTE  18:25  So, I know we don't get to share it here on the podcast, but Kerry, as you know, we like to end the show with a song when we have a singer and Jennifer was our singer. So you remember how perfect was the title and the theme: Make Your Own Kind of Music? Jennifer, reflecting on that night, how does it feel now?
 
JENNIFER  18:43  I can't believe so much time has gone by! I remember when we started I thought I had so much time to prepare. And it's just gone by. I guess I always thought that I felt fairly competent. You know, I have a degree in education. I've always told people I'd much rather sing than speak to them, which sounds really weird. But I'm very confident in my music. I'm not always confident in my speaking. There are things going on in my business world where there's different opportunities to speak, and I think in the past, I would have run away from those. I'm not jumping in and saying I want to do it. But I'm not trying...
 
JENETTE  18:44  You're not hiding...
 
JENNIFER  18:45  Yeah, I think because we prepared so much. Now at this point. I just feel like I did that I can do this. I'm not afraid of my shadow.
 
JENETTE  19:35  As we learned in your story, there was a time when music wasn't in your life

JENNIFER  19:41  Right.
 
JENETTE  19:41  ...and it wasn't your saving grace until a music teacher introduced you to it and the way you told it in the story was almost like a friend that she knew you needed, that she introduced you to. Let's just unpack it. You know you were a shy, awkward young girl.
 
JENNIFER  19:55  Yep.
 
JENETTE  19:55  And what I really wanted to point out about your story because I think it's So many people can relate to this and like, I'm literally raising my hand high in the air here is that when we are younger, and we, there's something about us that people want to point out, or turn into, you know, a negative or an insult, like those, those words, those those comments from, you know, from other kids, and, and adults, as you shared, you know, they really like no matter how old you get they, they stick with you. And if you're not careful, they're going to, you know, they can determine for you how confident you're going to be when you grow up. And so there is a point in your life where you have to make a choice. But when you revealed that some of those comments and moments, you know, with, you know, that you faced from, you know, the teasing, you shared that they still do get to you, if you let them like if you write you know, if you pay if you give them attention, they still get to you, I can totally relate, if I let those voices in, I could feel the same shame the same feelings from when I was younger. And we spent a lot of time growing up trying to find tools to overcome. And and I love what you said about this process. Because for anyone who's listening, it is not, you know, write your story and walk onto the stage, there is a lot of preparation that goes into these performances. And they are designed to create confidence in each woman and their story. And you did it. You absolutely did it.
 
JENNIFER  21:33  Well, you guys gave me a lot of different perspectives. And that really helped. You don't realize that there's other people out there who don't think you're totally wacko when you tell them your story, whatever it is, I can't even imagine growing up today with all the social media, the bullying was hard. And there was no social media. I just don't know how they get through that. Anyways, getting together with other women who all had their own story. I think so many times there were meetings where somebody would say something, and I'd say, it's right, that would be a good way to say that I had things that I'd already written but when I tell some of the worst bullying, and the other ladies were getting so emotional, I'm like, Oh, gosh.
 
JENETTE  22:17  So Jennifer, I want to point out on the same note, though, yes, we carry with us these daunting comments. But you also have to remember that teacher who introduced you to music, there are those teachers and those caring adults out there. And if you're listening, we cheer you on -- who say the right thing and guide a student to the right thing that's going to help them overcome because they see you. It is more powerful, I think. And Carrie is nodding her head off here because she is an educator and works as Head of School, those teachers who can say sometimes it's one sentence, it's one sentence that can turn everything around for you. Yeah, it depends on which one you want to give the power to. Do give the power to this comments that tore you down? And we chose to reflect on them during the process. But it's also you got to just giggle at that moment in time that one teacher did the right thing and changed her life forever.
 
JENNIFER  23:11  She just knew I needed something I guess. I will say real quick. The night after the show I was walking backstage and there was a man and I think his wife or something and I'm not sure it was a member of the cast but the husband was walking and he stopped and he said I used to bully kids all the time. And I never realized how bad yeah,
 
KERRY  23:33  Wow!
 
JENNIFER  23:34  He was very kind. And he just said until you told that story. I had no idea. It was very therapeutic for him.
 
KERRY  23:41  We've all had things said to us that are hurtful. And that really sort of shook me because I wasn't thinking about Gosh, what happens if you grow up and you look back and you aren't just thinking about words that were hurtful to you. But oh my gosh, what if you're the person who was saying hurtful words? How does that...
 
JENNIFER  23:57  Exactly. I didn't know him. But the fact that I might have gotten him to think twice. It was unbelievable. I remember the whole day. And it was unbelievable just because it was cool. It was fun. It was neat. And we all had our own stories. But we all were a family up there, I would definitely do it again. And I would encourage anybody else to do it as well.
 
KERRY  24:19  It was really special for me because I'm an Indiana girl transplant. And I was there with some family members and some sorority sisters. And one of the things I always say maybe this show was really just about recreating such a great time in my life of always having an amazing woman and always having a really diverse group of women and the group that was with me that night. We were this amazing different group of people, you know, conservatives, liberal, all the things that we could let separate us but united us and they were commenting on the cast. And it's so cool when it's such a wide range of people that arrive as strangers and it really is a sisterhood by the end and I could really see that in your cast.
 
JENNIFER  24:59  Definitely, definitely it was. Thank you very much.
 
JENETTE  25:03  And it goes to show by saying yes and standing up and sharing your story, your life was impacted and changed. And so was this gentleman who was in the audience and now the other people that he may hopefully have reached out to, to check in or make amends. Look at that ripple effect right there of the power of you sharing your story. Jennifer, your yes meant so much more than you even realize. Thank you, because I know it touched me from the very beginning. And of course, I had to do my research on A Family Affair and figure out who Mrs. Beasley was. (Kerry laughing)
 
JENNIFER  25:36  Yeah, that was and you know what it used to be ladies that somebody would say Mrs. Beasley and they would just be talking about the show, but I would literally...
 
JENETTE  25:43  You would have a reaction, you would like do a double take.
 
JENNIFER  25:48  I cringe a little. It's not their fault. It's just kind of a weird moment. But it's not as bad as it used to be.
 
JENETTE  25:55  No. But you know, it's the best part? When Jennifer walked into rehearsal you know what she was wearing? Jennifer, correct me if I'm wrong, she had on blue framed eyeglasses, didn't you? Did I point that out at one point that today is
 
JENNIFER  26:06    Yes
 
JENETTE  26:06  that you wear eyeglasses with blue frames? You rock them. You look amazing.
 
JENNIFER  26:11  I wear them for reading so I'm mostly a contact girl but it was funny when you pointed that out? I'm like yeah, I'm trying to run away from it and what am I doing I show up looking just like that out. I would just say if you have an opportunity to do something like this, I mean I've never heard anything like That's What She Said until I did it and I'm very very happy to have been part of it. So thank you very much.
 
JENETTE  26:35  You are so welcome and thank you for saying yes to being on the stage and for promoting it. If anyone out there is listening and would like information on appearing in a That's What She Said show or creating an That's What She Said show in your community you can find all of that information on our website at she said project.com We want to thank our fans and our supporters and Kerry I want to thank you for all that you have poured into this. It is so fun getting to know women like Jennifer and the entire cast of That's What She Said Indianapolis, they will forever be in my heart. Jennifer, I adore you. Thank you for your time and that's all the time we have today on The She Said Project Podcast. 

###

[Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]
ANNOUNCER  27:18
Thank you for listening to The She Said Project Podcast in partnership with Illinois Public Media. All materials contained in the podcast for the exclusive property of The She Said Project and That’s What She Said, LLC. For more information on our live shows go to [url=https://shesaidproject.com]https://shesaidproject.com[/url]
 
This podcast was made possible with support from Carle and Health Alliance and presented by Sterling Wealth Management, empowering women to live their best lives.