Episode 99: Visiting with Adonica Coleman of Columbia and her story, “The Me You See”

                                    SSPP ep. 99 ADONICA COLEMAN
 
Adonica Coleman, a local community leader in Columbia, Missouri, shared her journey from a young single mother to a successful business owner and community advocate on stage in the 2nd That's What She Said Columbia. Today she visited with Jenette and Kerry in The She Said Project Podcast studio to reflect on her She Said experience and discuss resilience and the importance of sharing personal struggles to inspire others.
 
ANNOUNCER  00:00  Raising women's voices one story at a time. Welcome to The She Said Project Podcast.
[Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]
 
###
JENETTE JURCZYK  00:28  Welcome friends and everyone who decided to spend a little bit of time with us today listening to womens empowering stories on The She Said Project Podcast. I am your co host, Jenette Jurczyk, National Director of The She Said Project
 
KERRY ROSSOW  00:41  And I'm the co to her host, Kerry Rossow, co founder.
 
JENETTE  00:43  Kerry Rossow, co founder of the original That's What She Said performance that took place in 2013. Can you believe it?
 
KERRY  00:51  Watch it, sis.
 
JENETTE  00:52  I know. I know.
 
KERRY  00:53  When we started it, it was supposed to just be a one night show. And then here we are, all these years later, and hundreds of podcasts and shows and 1000s of women, and it was a runaway train. We lit the fire, and then women were like, Yep, we got you from there. We'll take it.
 
JENETTE  01:08  And now we get to check in with women who have been on a stage sharing their story in a live That's What She Said performance, not just from our community of Champaign-Urbana, but from different communities across the midwest that are now hosting shows, and I love the podcast, getting to be like, I envision it kind of like a bicycle wheel with all the spokes going out to the different cities. And we're like, you know, we're that glue in the center, kind of gluing everybody together, like we get to create connection.
 
KERRY  01:32  Well, especially now that it's in so many different cities, you know. One, you get to check back with people. But for like, today's guest, I didn't get to be there and see it live, and I didn't edit her piece. I didn't read it ahead of time. So watching it was really powerful and wonderful, because then I get to see it like anybody else would in the audience. So for me, it's double special, because I got to have that experience. And then we get to have her on, and I get to hear all the behind the scenes dirt.
 
JENETTE    01:58  And, of course, you're talking about our new best friend, Adonica Coleman, who appeared on stage in That's What She Said in Columbia. Columbia, Missouri
 
KERRY  02:09  COMO, if you will!
 
JENETTE  02:09  COMO, if you will, not too, too long ago, but Adonica, welcome to The She Said Project Podcast.
 
ADONICA COLEMAN  02:13  Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
 
JENETTE  02:18Yay, it's so wonderful to hear your voice. You are, I'm going to dare say it, a local celebrity in the COMO community.
 
ADONICA  02:25  Am I?
 
JENETTE  02:25  Am I right?
 
ADONICA  02:26  I mean, that's what they say. That's what they say.
 
JENETTE  02:31  Share with our listeners the work that you get to do.
 
ADONICA  02:33  It's kind of a hard thing to say about yourself. Honestly, I am very fortunate. My family's been in Columbia since 2007 it's not our hometown, but now it feels like home for sure. I thought we'd be here for three years, and here we are, eighteen, nineteen years later, so still here, but it is a great place to call home. I am very fortunate to be able to do what I get to do in this community every day. I am the owner of the Como 411, which is a digital media platform. And what we do is we really just seek to elevate the people, places and things that make Columbia a great place to live, work and play. So we do that by way of, obviously, you know, digital media, social media posts, and also I host a daily talk show called The Daily Blend with AC every day, Monday through Friday. And we really just seek to tell the good news that's happening in town. You know, there's so many great people and nonprofits and events that are happening, and we like to get that news out to people, as well as their regular local news. So that is what I do, as well as some volunteer things.
 
JENETTE  03:36  I'm sure you do all the things like busy women that we are. I had the pleasure of being in the audience at the very first Columbia show in 2023. Now, you were not one of the speakers that night, but you had a part in the show where you kind of hosted a video that opened the show, like talking to women on the streets about women and their stories. So you were part of it from the beginning. So how did you know about
 
ADONICA  03:36  The very beginning
 
JENETTE  03:38  Yeah, and then you got roped into telling your story in year two. That didn't take very long.
 
JENETTE  03:49  Yes, and I think it's a great story the way it all came about. So Allie Teagarden, who is the wonderful woman here in Columbia who brings us, That's What She Said.
 
JENETTE  04:15  We love some Allie Teagarden let's just have said
 
ADONICA  04:19  Allie, for sure, she's amazing. So  was going around Columbia that first year, talking to everybody about, that's what she said. And, you know, looking for sponsors and getting everybody excited in the community about coming out to this new show. And I remember saying to someone, who is this lady? Like, I have never met her. I know a lot of people in Columbia, and people were like, I don't know. I'm not sure where she came from. It was, it was really just like that.
 
JENETTE  04:45  She came from us, she came from here. We sent her. She came from Champaign Urbana
 
ADONICA  04:50  She did. But Allie had worked in the university system at Mizzou for six years. And what I find about some people who work at Mizzou is like its own world.  It's like its own world. And there can be people there that you who are working there that you do not know. And so Allie had stepped out of the academics world. She was at home raising her daughter Andie, and when she decided to do that, but she said she just shot off like a rocket in this community. I'm not kidding. Allie was making all the connections. And so somebody said to Allie, Allie, you should think about reaching out to Adonica Coleman, because she just started the Como 411, and I don't know how it could work, but you guys may work together. Well,
 
JENETTE   05:32  Kerblam!
 
ADONICA  05:32  Allie reaches that's how it happened. Yeah, she reaches out to me. We go to lunch, and she says, You know, I have this idea. You should always start the show off with something fun and exciting. She's like, so I'm thinking a video she's like. And given what you do, it seems like it would be great to have you just interviewing like people on the street to ask them what women have influenced them. And I said, I love it. Love everything about it. We signed on as a media sponsor, and that's exactly what we did. So I was in from day one. Love I was in from day one. I loved every single thing about the show and about the mission and the vision. I loved everything about it. I was sold.
 
JENETTE  06:09  And that is just a perfect example of women, supporting women, building community, finding each other and raising each other up. You know, this is what you do. This is what I do. Let's do it together.
 
KERRY  06:19  Hey
 
JENETTE  06:20  Let's bring it together, and let's raise women's voices. That just excites me so much. So you weren't in the first show. So I'm so curious about how you, I mean, you watch these women be, be vulnerable and brave on the stage?
 
JENETTE  06:34  Did you offer yourself? Did you say, like, I want to do that too, or did you get a little bit coerced into joining the cast?
 
ADONICA  06:35  Yes.
 
KERRY  06:40  Oh, that is remarkable.
 
ADONICA  06:41  I did not. Allie is quite persuasive, let me just say. And also I'm going to tell you what I realized when I was at that lunch with Allie. I said, this woman is so smart, so smart the way she was able to come and integrate herself into the Columbia community scene. That quickly, I thought, this woman has something special. No kidding, after That's What She Said the first year, I said to my assistant, because Como 411, had just started. At that time, I said, Allie told me that she's staying home with her daughter and she's doing That's What She Said. But it's only once a year do you think she might want to do something else for a few hours a week. She said, I don't know. I said, Well, let's ask her. So we waited until after the show. We gave her like two weeks to recover, and then we asked, we asked her if she might be interested in joining our team at Como 411, and she said, yeah.
 
KERRY  06:45
That's amazing. I love that story. She said,
 
ADONICA  06:50  Yes, Allie is our Director of Operations and partnerships at Como 411, to this day.
 
KERRY  07:05  This is the greatest story ever.
 
ADONICA  07:49  Oh my gosh. She works on her own time. This is what I love about it. Company full of women. We all have families, different things going on, a million different things, but we're able to fit in the things that we love to do, get paid, work flexibly, like that is exactly what ally is doing for us right now. And she is, she's amazing, amazing.
 
KERRY  08:12  That is fantastic.
 
JENETTE  08:13  I see this long, healthy future of That's What She Said in Como. Como411, like, like, like, you guys are on fire, and there is no stopping you.
 
ADONICA  08:23  We definitely are. So that is how it was much easier for Allie to become, to be a safe so I'm starting to approach women about speaking at the second That's What She Said she said, and I actually had you on, you were on my short list for the first she's like, because many people said your name when I talked about what women I should talk to, it was the easiest I had seen the show. I knew exactly what it was about. It was not even hard to say yes,
 
JENETTE  08:49 That's what she said. Come on, Kerry, I thought she, she
 
KERRY  08:54  I was just so bedazzled by the story. Yeah, she, she tossed it to me, and I was just too busy nodding my head to swing.
 
ADONICA  09:01  That is funny. I love that.
 
KERRY  09:03  See, I can't even tell dirty jokes when you're talking. I'm so inspired.
 
JENETTE  09:07  We are a little messy.
 
KERRY  09:08  You broke me.
 
ADONICA  09:09  That's funny. We'll be right back on it. Watch.
 
KERRY  09:14  I gotta quick tell a vagina joke. I gotta get myself back
 
JENETTE  09:18  Say the word vagina as quickly as you can.
 
KERRY  09:21  Real quick.
 
JENETTE  09:21  I love that. Okay, so now that you've shared who you are in the community and your relationship with the incredible Allie Teagarden, we're gonna play your story that you shared on stage for our podcast listeners, and they're gonna be just as fascinated and mesmerized as we are, because you are this public figure now, and the title of your piece was The Me You See, which immediately you get an idea of, well, maybe you don't see the whole picture. And I think so many women can relate to that. You know what you show the world and what you keep to yourself and and finding that balance, but also knowing that there's power in, in stepping up and sharing a little bit more, so that we can all feel like we're normal, right?
 
KERRY  09:24  Yes, yes. That is the goal. That is always the goal, sharing the story, so that everybody knows that whatever they're going through or have gone through, we all have something. We all have something.
 
JENETTE  10:18  Alright,t you ready? You ready? Kerry, let's do this.
 
KERRY  10:21  Let's do it
 
JENETTE  10:21 Alright. So we're gonna jump right in and listen to Adonica's story on stage in That's What She Said Columbia 2024. Our friends, enjoy this performance of "The Me You See."
 
###
(recorded April 13, 2024 at The Missouri Theatre, Columbia, MO)
 
ADONICA COLEMAN  10:40  To this day, one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have in my life happened somewhere around February or March of 1992. I truly remember it like it was yesterday, the living room where The conversation happened, the spot I was sitting in on the couch, and the nervousness and the dread that had manifested in my body. I was a senior in high school, well liked, good grades, tested into the gifted program, lots of friends and a varsity cheerleader. I had all that going for me, and then I had to go home one night and tell my mother that I was pregnant.
 
11:30  I don't have to go into detail. I'm sure about how that kind of news can derail future plans, how it can totally change the trajectory of a young life. How at 17 you think you're in love, that you're almost an adult anyway, and that you know everything.
 
11:55  After much conversation, my mom looked at me and said, Is this your choice? Is this what you want to do?
 
12:17  And that was the conversation that marked the beginning of the path, not so straight for me, I was too naive to even think that it was going to be hard. After all, my mom had me when she was 18, and it seemed to me that we were doing okay. Looking back, I realized that that's what happens when you don't know all the details, when you don't know the full story. I made decisions based on what I assumed. I made decisions based on what I myself had not experienced. I made decisions based on things that I had not been allowed to witness, things that my mother shielded and protected me from.
 
12:47  I very confidently said, Yes. She said, okay, don't call me to babysit. I'll call you when I want to.
 
12:54  In those days where I grew up, there was not a lot of open conversation with the generations that came before you. There was hardly any talk of therapy, triggers or trauma, and there was no social media to document all of our days, nights, feelings and thoughts and my friends and I often say, Thank God for that. So I'll skip ahead, past the decision this gifted girl had to make of not going to college because I knew I would need a steady income, more immediately past the very vocal disappointment that I heard from family members who felt I messed up my life. Passed the fast track through cosmetology school so I could work right away in my mom's salon, past the part where I found another woman's full wardrobe in my baby daddy's closet, when said baby was only one month old, passed all the resulting poor choices in friends and men past moving out of my mom's house at 18, because I didn't want to be told what to do when I was a mother myself past taking my toddler to my grandma's house so she wouldn't know the electricity was off. Past the going out too much, drinking too much, and everything else, saying too much to mask the fact that I just wanted to be whatever I thought regular was. And past the night, sitting in my apartment in the dark, staring at my tear stained face in a broken mirror, and making up my mind right then and there that I wanted something different for my life. I was, as my grandmother would say, sick and tired of being sick and tired, we must have the same grandmother.
 
15:26  So essentially, I decided I was going to get my life together, and I slowly began to take the necessary steps to do so. I put myself on a regular routine. I cut out a lot of the everything that I mentioned before, and I made a return to the faith that I had walked away from years earlier.
 
15:51  Fast forward to the me most of you have met and see now. I've been in Columbia since 2007 I showed up here in the suburbs on the South side of town with a husband of five years and two daughters. I stay home with my girls. I June Cleaver, I PTA, I volunteered, and I grew and produced two more boom babies, also daughters. Side note, I still haven't decided if the lesson of four daughters is more for me or for my husband.
 
16:27  I started my first business in 2011 and volunteered some more. Became even more active in the community. I began to serve in ways that I never could have imagined, all while striving to find that perfect but just out of reach. Balance of being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend and a community leader, that's the me you see today, the me smiling on your computer screen and TV asking others to tell me a little bit of their stories, the me standing on stages and sharing chamber boards, the me still wifeing and mothering, just in a different season. Yet all the things from the beginning till now are me. Although I have grown and matured past a lot of the things that I used to do or be I can still feel myself standing over a client at the shampoo bowl, I can still sometimes see my reflection in that broken mirror and feel those tears on my face. That's all me.
 
17:33  I was fortunate in that I had strong ladies in my upline, my mother, my great aunt, and both of my grandmothers, it took me a while to fully understand the lessons that they were trying to pass on to me. They were all uniquely themselves, but what they shared was a sense of strength and the ability to move through and past difficult situations and still come out standing on the other side. I could not see that at the time, but I do feel it inside me today, the power and tenacity of my ancestors live within me, and because I know the importance of that legacy, I continue to go hard doing what I do. While I may have once mistreated myself and been mistreated, I choose not to live as a victim. I have instead chosen to be an overcomer,
 
18:32  a wise person once told me that you make your choice and then you make that choice right. So the me you see today is the culmination of all that, and I hope to continue on this path to leave a legacy that my four daughters can feel and stand firmly on.
 
###
 
KERRY ROSSOW  19:08  So that was amazing. And I'm recognizing a pattern in your life of I'm thinking of the story about Allie and the other women you work with, and the women in your personal life giving you real talk, giving you real support. I think that this is just your calling. You just surround yourself with awesome women and build each other up. Maybe, maybe it was your mom or your aunts that they laid that foundation, but you're keeping it going.
 
ADONICA COLEMAN  19:32  Definitely, my mom, for sure, my mom was that woman that everybody loved. Everybody just loved her. Wanted to be around her, wanted to talk to her. And I think just watching that as you grow up, you know, yeah, I want to be that kind of person that's relatable to all women women can talk to. My mother owned a beauty salon when I was growing up, so can you imagine the kind of conversations I got to listen to
 
KERRY  19:57  She hosted a She Said, an unnamed She Said show every day, I bet,
 
JENETTE JURCZYK  20:04  Absolutely, story shared around the shampoo bowl,
 
ADONICA  20:07  right? Love that. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, yes, for sure,
 
KERRY  20:10  wow. Okay, so what was the feedback you got after that?
 
ADONICA  20:14  What was surprising to me were the women who came up to me that said, Oh my gosh. I was raised by a young single mother, and I had no idea that this may be what she was going through, or maybe there were other things happening in her life at the time, other than just raising me. I got a bunch of women who said I was raised by a young single mother. So hearing your story was very, very enlightening for me. I have people who, when people meet you where you are right now, they don't know your backstory, right? And a lot most people don't walk around talking about their backstory, like just over coffee, so you don't necessarily get that opportunity to share that outside of people who are very close to you,
 
KERRY  20:59  Right
 
ADONICA  20:59  But I did feel like it was important, because when people meet me now, and, you know, oh, she owns the company, and she's on our computer, and, you know, TV screens, and she's on the radio, and, you know, she's, she's
 
JENETTE  21:13  on the podcast, yeah
 
ADONICA  21:15  She’s on the podcast now, and she's the chair of the chamber board. And, you know, so they, they see you in a certain light. But I always want people to know that I have a story. I have a backstory. This is what it is. I've never been ashamed of it. I have always felt like sharing it was going to be beneficial at some point to somebody else. I always want somebody else to be able to hear somebody's story and say, Gosh, I can see a little bit of myself in there, and I can keep going.
 
KERRY  21:44  Well, I think it's so important for women when easy for us to judge our insides by other people's outsides. And so seeing, you know, all the fanciness of your life, you know, and but for to say, from the place of success. But here's what, I didn't land here. I had to do the work. I had to go through the stuff, you know, everybody does and, you know, keep going. I think that was a really important story to be told.
 
ADONICA  22:10  Yeah, we don't just land where we are today. We have to take steps to get here. We can all work. We can all put in the work, overcome obstacles, overcome setbacks, and always just say, Wake up and take the next right step in front of you.
 
JENETTE  22:25  And how you choose to weave your truth into everything that you do. And you're well aware of the me you see and the facade that's presented, but you make a choice to not let that be the only thing people see that is living a life in full authenticity, in my opinion, like that is that is being a real human with real world problems, but also showing up every day and giving your best. We should be able to do both.
 
ADONICA  22:53  We really should. Why do we have to be one or the other? Right?
 
JENETTE  22:57  You're either a hot mess or you've got it all together. There's no in between. Why?
 
KERRY  23:01  I don't know why she looked at me when she said, she said that.
 
JENETTE  23:04  Wait, what that was the other one, when you have it all together?
 
KERRY  23:07  Oh, yeah, yeah.
 
ADONICA  23:09  Is it me?
 
KERRY  23:10
Am I? She gestured and everything.
 
ADONICA  23:15  But that is very true, right? There absolutely is a middle some days and I do wake up and feel like, oh, I have it all together a day. And sometime at the end of the day, I maybe I have had it all together. And sometimes I wake up and I feel like a hot ass mess.
 
KERRY  23:28  Yes, yes, you can.
 
JENETTE  23:33  And how many times has someone complimented you on? Oh, my God, you look so great today. You've got it all together. And do we even accept that compliment? Oh no, I was on a zoom today, and the person in my meeting said, Oh, you're looking lovely today. You're all made up. And my immediate go to was like, Oh, my God, I haven't washed my hair. And, yeah, why? Why can I just say I don't know I'm doing okay today. No, why? It's
 
ADONICA  23:54  so hard for us to say, you know, thank you
 
KERRY  23:57  I've been trying but it's so exciting. It is so unnatural for so many of us to do that. And I've been thinking about it a lot because another guest had talked about that. And so now I make myself say thank you, but it's so unnatural and awkward that it always comes out like yo or like, Thank you, you know. Or I sound creepy like, Thanks, but I can't. It's not natural. So it's not, it doesn't come out, you know, authentically, but it's like, okay, fake it till you make it. Know the progress. Just keep trying.
 
ADONICA  24:26  Just keep trying. We have to intentionally tell ourselves, just say, Thank you. Yep, thank you
 
JENETTE  24:31  Thank you. Hashtag, hashtag, it's okay. Hashtag Como 411, I mean, I love that. I bet that's just about everywhere these How many years have you been running this now?
 
ADONICA  24:42  This is our second year, so that's it. Yeah, but people are starting to catch like, people are starting to catch on to that. I mean, I've done other things in the community. I own an event planning company, which led me into the Como forum one because, you know, when we were planning events, corporate and fundraising events. You meet a lot of people in that arena, but then when COVID came, there were no events to plan, and so I hopped into the virtual event world. At that time, started a virtual event platform, and really was one of the first ones in this town to offer that service. So I got to meet even more people, and that's where I learned of my love for hopping in front of the camera because of virtual event. So it's really what catapulted me into the Como 411.
 
JENETTE  25:27  It's amazing to see women's transitions after COVID. It's been I mean, women are resilient, women are creative. Women show up. They don't stop. Women are freaking amazing.
 
KERRY  25:40  We've been pivoting since the dawn of time. You know, she goes sideways. We pivot. You know, something gets thrown in our lap, we pivot. This is what we do. So, you know, COVID happened. We were like, Yeah, all right, pivot.
 
ADONICA  25:52  Yes. Women find a way, yep, to do what needs to be done, right? Well, I do what needs to be done.
 
KERRY  25:59
I cannot thank you enough. This has been so much fun. We might just have to take a road trip and come tag along and follow you.
 
ADONICA  26:05  Please do
 
JENETTE  now we're gonna have to come visit our friends in Como
 
ADONICA   26:07  Please do! Allie and I would love to host you.
 
JENETTE I am beyond grateful that Allie said yes. When I approached her and pitched this idea that, hey, Allie, I know you're looking for your next chapter in Columbia, I have an idea for you. I'm just so grateful to her, because now, because of her, I get to meet women like you and learn from you and your stories. And that's really what this platform is all about, is creating a platform, creating a space for women to share in an authentic way and be celebrated for exactly who they already are,
 
KERRY  26:39  and connect the connection I could just, I feel connected right now, like just talking, we
 
ADONICA  26:43  are connected. No, we are connected Allie. Allie is a amazing connector. She really is, and she was the perfect person for this, the perfect person for this. So I'm so grateful for you ladies for starting this whole movement. I love that she said, movement cannot wait until next year. Allie and I are already wrecking our brains thinking about what that opening video is going to look like next year.
 
KERRY  27:08  That's going to be great. Jenette and I are taking a road trip. We'll be there. Love it.
 
ADONICA  27:11  Please do. Hey, come a day early so we can, you know, we can play, hang out a little bit done packing bags now, maybe after, maybe a day later,
 
JENETTE  27:21  That is true. You need to, you need to exhale party. That's true. Yeah. All right. Adonica, thank you for just finding time in your busy life to join us on the podcast so we can share a little bit of your magic goodness with you. Know, even more women in this world that need some joy in their lives, because we women, we're doing it. We're doing the things. Thank you for joining us. Thank you to our friends who listen to our podcast each week. And thank you to our incredible partners, Illinois Public Media, Sterling Wealth Management, Carle Health, for just making this possible. It is a joy. It is a joy to be here.
 
KERRY  27:54  So all those thank yous now let's, let's try this out. Jenette, you look fabulous today.
 
JENETTE  28:00  Thank you,
 
KERRY  28:01  thank you.
 
JENETTE  28:04  Did that sound real? Kerry, you look like a million bucks.
 
KERRY  28:08  Thank you. We'll get there. Ladies, we'll get there.
 
JENETTE  28:13  Adonica, you are a rock star. Let's try. Oh, she said it. She said it right.
 
ADONICA  28:18  Thank you. Ladies,
 
KERRY  28:20  thank you
 
JENETTE  28:21  Thank you for enlightening us. It has been an amazing time, and I'm so sorry to see it end, but that's all the time we have today on The She Said Project Podcast.
 
 
###
 
 
[Music: The She Said Project Podcast Theme]
ANNOUNCER  28:34 Thank you for listening to The She Said Project Podcast in partnership with Illinois Public Media. All materials contained in the podcast for the exclusive property of The She Said Project and That’s What She Said, LLC. For more information on our live shows go to [url=https://shesaidproject.com]https://shesaidproject.com[/url]
 
This podcast was made possible with support from Carle and Health Alliance and presented by Sterling Wealth Management, empowering women to live their best lives.